I am greatful for my team

Hmm. Sorry about the last post...It has been a long autumn. I am trying to let it all go and just concentrate on the impending ski season, that better come soon dammit! As my best friend keeps telling me BE TUFF DOYLE, so that is what I am trying to do. This may be easy for most people but when you are a chronic overanalyzer and obsessive worrier it can be quite the challege at times. For now i am putting the "what ifs" behind and putting my skis on, team shadow is ready to rock.

Northstar, my favorite (though dont tell anyone i said Northstar and not Sierra) mountain is opening one week from today and will hopefully become my safe haven. Then life will get even better when Sierra opens and life will be back to normal and all will be well with the world. It is incredible to think about how, at least for my friends, life and attitudes change so much with the season. Fall is a dark time in Tahoe which pretty much starts with Agro August.

By mid August the resorts have been closed for 3 1/2 months, we havent been camping and skiing for 2 months and summer has officially taken over. Summer in Tahoe is beautiful and there are pleanty of other things to keep us occupied, camping, sailing, bike riding...but no matter what we tell ourselves, deep down we all know that what really gets our hearts racing is the snow. Even though we know we shouldnt, we can not stop ourselves from thinking about it. Only a few months and we will be skiing again, can you believe it. As summer starts winding down, school starts, the lake gets to cold to swim in, business becomes almost nonexistant, these few months start to feel like a few years. The mood is aggrivated, relationships fall apart, we drink our sorrows away and then BAM! its Halloween and we are all broke as shit with nothing to do and the snow really NEEEEEDS to start falling.

November has proven a little brighter, the weather has finally turned cold, we break out all the winter clothes from the garage and put away the boardshorts but alas still no damn snow. Some of us are working through our personal turmoils together, which makes it a little less lonely and a little more managable. Now we will be able to but all the bull shit of lifes inadaquacies on the backburner and live in a state of pure bliss and excitement for the next 5 months.

I want to say thank you to the team, Clif Cale Meg and Tom, its been a rough one but we've made it through, its almost over, and at least we have eachother as we head into Winter.



My last thought: Lets not get ahead of ourselves. We all know our weaknesses. Though I realize it is impossible to make it through the winter without a few trips to the emergency room lets try to leave it at stitches. Let us remain mindfull of our sholders, thighs, wrists, knees and backs and quit while we are ahead. When the pain takes over, leave it for the day, we will always be back tomorrow.

And I think we all agree that life could only be better if we had our Micaela with us every day.

Torn

What do you do when you want two completely different things at the same time? What if you want the comfort and security of something old and familiar but also the adventure and uncertainty of something new and exciting? What do you do when you know that either decision you make will destroy the other?

I want the opportunity to try something new without sacrificing what I already have. Is this wrong? Maybe. Is it selfish? Probably. Can I help it? NO!

Lately I just feel like the things I have been the most sure about in the past are suddenly and unexpectedly shifting out of focus. I have been made aware for the first time in my adult life that maybe there are other possibilities, other outcomes to my existence. I want to be totally selfish and try new things on the whim that they might be the best things I ever do. What if I try something new and realize it isn't as sweet as it sounds?

I want to know the outcome of both paths before I can decide which one to follow. Impossible I know.

Cont...

Also would like to say happy birthday to Jordan Fortier October 5, Meriwhether Morris October 11 and Cristin Coleman October 12! I Miss all of you

Belated Birthdays

This is a tribute to Tomo's birthday WEEK. It was wild...I think I have just barely recovered. The first picture is how we all started to view the world after a couple of days. They are in reverse order because blogger is really pissing me off and it is too hard to move pictures. I love you Tomo! Good Times.

Im Optomistic

Ok so I finally woke up to some snow....yes thats right when I opened my eyes I thought it was raining but it was in fact snowing!!! I was way late to work because I stayed home and made breakfast with hot chocolate and of course marshmallows and then watched it snow while we had our first early morning fire! Hopefully this is a turning point...pictures to come.

Bad Karma

So I haven't quite figured out what I did to have such bad karma lately but whatever it was it wasn't pretty and I am paying for it now.

Two nights ago one of my best friends tried to commit suicide. I rushed down to the bay to be with her. I got back yesterday.

Today I get a call from my dad saying that my grandmother is on life support and they will be taking her off of it tomorrow morning. So I find myself for the second time in 3 days frantically trying to get my affairs in order so that I can rush yet again back to the beautiful northbay. Awesome!

Hope your day is going better than mine.

Just one of those days...unfortunately this is turning out to be VERY true