Torn

What do you do when you want two completely different things at the same time? What if you want the comfort and security of something old and familiar but also the adventure and uncertainty of something new and exciting? What do you do when you know that either decision you make will destroy the other?

I want the opportunity to try something new without sacrificing what I already have. Is this wrong? Maybe. Is it selfish? Probably. Can I help it? NO!

Lately I just feel like the things I have been the most sure about in the past are suddenly and unexpectedly shifting out of focus. I have been made aware for the first time in my adult life that maybe there are other possibilities, other outcomes to my existence. I want to be totally selfish and try new things on the whim that they might be the best things I ever do. What if I try something new and realize it isn't as sweet as it sounds?

I want to know the outcome of both paths before I can decide which one to follow. Impossible I know.